How to choose the right counsellor for you

The question “How do I know if you are the right counsellor for me?” always sits at the core when it comes to choosing a therapist. As a counsellor in Castle Hill, I really enjoy helping clients answer this question for themselves, and it is fundamental for the work that follows. In this blog post I’ll shine a light on what has been helpful in my own experiences of finding a new therapist and what seems to be helpful to the women that I am working with.

Image credit to Actionvance on Unsplash

Questions worth asking the counsellor before you book

Before I book the first session with a new client, I always try to organise a free, obligation-free Zoom call to go through any questions. It’s so helpful to get clear on a few things together to make sure sessions feel worthwhile right from the beginning.

Here are a few questions worth talking through:

*       How do you work? How will your approach help me with the problem that I am bringing?

*       How does change happen in your experience?

*       Do you have experience with issues similar to mine?

*       Do you work collaboratively with your clients?

*       What happens in a session?

*       How much does a session cost?

*       How long are your sessions?

*       How often do you recommend I come?

If you are highly sensitive, it can be worth asking directly: how do you work with sensitivity? The way a counsellor answers will tell you a lot about whether you will feel understood.

Questions to ask yourself before you book

No matter the credentials, choosing a therapist often comes down to how we feel about the other person. Here are some questions to ask yourself during/after the initial chat or consultation:

*       Do I feel heard and understood?

*       Do I have a sense of trust and safety that will allow me to open up to this person?

*       Does the counsellor seem curious and non-judgemental?

What if it doesn’t feel right? We often put pressure on ourselves during these initial conversations to make a decision, but I’d like to encourage you to take your time. If you feel a clear ‘yes’ by the time you reach the end of the conversation, wonderful, you can go ahead and book your first appointment. If you are not sure or something doesn’t feel quite right, I’d invite you to trust yourself and sleep on it. You might need more time, you might have more questions, or this simply might not be the right fit for you, and that’s completely okay. Finding the right counsellor sometimes means talking to more than one person, and it isn’t a reflection on you.

These are the basics. If you are curious about other things to consider when choosing a new counsellor, here are a few more aspects that will help you with making a choice that’s right for you.

Image credit to Kira auf der Heide on Unsplash

Different approaches suit different people

If you are new to therapy, it is helpful to find out a bit more about some of the modalities that are available today based on what you would like support with.

Here are some examples:

*       Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) helps you identify and challenge thinking and behaviour patterns that are unhelpful to you, replacing them with more accurate and functional ones that improve how you feel.

*       Psychodynamic therapy is a form of talk therapy that helps you understand how your unconscious thoughts, emotions, and early experiences influence your current behaviour and relationships.

*       Somatic therapies, for example Somatic Psychotherapy and Hakomi, are close to my own heart — I use Hakomi in my own practice. They work with the wisdom of the body. These approaches for example invite you to notice what's happening in your body as you speak, which often brings up information and insight that talking alone doesn't always reach.

*       EMDR or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy is designed to help you process the distress that can follow disturbing life experiences. It typically uses guided eye movements, tapping or tones to help the brain reprocess traumatic memories.

Practical considerations: location, cost and availability

When it comes to choosing a counsellor, there are also some practical considerations worth becoming clear on. For example, you might like to have sessions face to face and will need to consider what locations are accessible as part of your day-to-day life, whether that’s here in Castle Hill and the Hills District or somewhere else. Or as an alternative, you may prefer online sessions or a combination of both because you prefer the comfort of your own home or travelling is not an option. In my experience, while both options have their benefits, online sessions can be just as effective as face-to-face sessions. This is especially important if you are highly sensitive and may already feel stretched and overwhelmed by what’s on your plate. Finding a way to fit the sessions in at a time that feels good and not like an extra stressor can make a real difference.

Fees vary between practitioners, so it’s worth understanding what the costs are and how frequently you would like to see someone before you commit. In my own experience, and with my clients, I have noticed that it is very helpful to start with more frequent sessions (for example weekly or fortnightly), because it helps build the trust and safety needed for working together, and then to shift organically in line with what unfolds. Meaningful change usually takes regular sessions over time, rather than one or two.

Another thing worth finding out is whether the counsellor has a waiting list, and what their availability looks like, depending on how soon you’d like to start. For example, you might need session times during school hours or after work.

If you are looking for a counsellor in Castle Hill or the Hills District, or would like to explore working together online, I’d love to hear from you. Get in touch for a free, obligation-free 15-minute chat, where I’m happy to answer any questions you have